7 Ways To Be An Ally: Holiday Edition
The holidays can be tough for a lot of queer folks. Here’s a few things you can do to be an ally to your 2SLGBTQIA+ friends and family this time of year.
1. Check in before an event and ask what you can do
Part of being an ally is listening to what your 2SLGBTQIA+ loved one needs from you. Before an event, ask if there’s anything specific you can do. This could be steering conversations away from certain topics or sending them funny texts to ease the tension, even if you’re not able to be there with them.
2. Be careful not to out someone with corrections
You might want to jump in every time you hear someone use the wrong name or pronouns for your trans or gender-diverse loved one. However, before you correct them, make sure the person being misgendered feels safe with you doing so. They may not be out to the person misgendering them.
3. Give a meaningful gift with someone’s name
Gifts don’t need to be expensive or extravagant to be meaningful. Sometimes, something as simple as a handmade bookmark with a person’s chosen name can be very meaningful. Just be mindful of who is around when you give the gift so you don’t accidently out the person to those around them.
4. Offer other ways to connect than just parties
The holidays can be overwhelming, especially for neurodivergent folks or those with chronic illnesses. In-person gatherings can also be unsafe as most COVID precautions are no longer happening. This doesn’t mean people don’t want to connect; they just want to do so in ways that feel safer.
For some folks, connecting virtually is a safer and less exhausting alternative to in-person parties or hangouts. The best way to know what someone feels comfortable and safe with is just to ask. You can also suggest options like enjoying the outdoors, a one-on-one hangout with masks, or a video call.
5. Respect people’s boundaries
It’s important to be okay with the boundaries someone has established. Sometimes, no matter how much you offer to be there for someone at an event, they may prefer to stay home or not be around people who make them feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
6. Extend invitations to folks without supportive family
The holidays can be a lonely time for folks who don’t have supportive family or friends to be with. Extend an invitation and see if there’s any holiday traditions or dishes they really miss. But again, respect people’s boundaries if they say they’d rather stay home.
7. Address harmful comments and misinformation
There’s a lot of 2SLGBTQIA+ topics in the news these days that may be the focus of conversations around you. It’s important to address harmful comments, either in the moment or privately, if you feel safe doing so. However, if your 2SLGBTQIA+ loved one feels safer with you ignoring those comments, respect that.