Deciding How to Come Out and What You Want to Say

The next post in our National Coming Out Day series is about deciding how you want to come out and what you want to say.

Here’s a few things to consider.

1. How do you like to communicate?

Maybe you’re someone who likes to talk things out in-person or over the phone. Perhaps you prefer to write out your thoughts in emails, texts, or letters. There is no one right way to come out.

2. Who are you coming out to?

While you can never know for sure how someone will react, if someone has come out or they’ve expressed support for 2SLGBTQIA+ folks, they’re probably a supportive person to come out to. If you’re not sure how someone will react, it can be helpful not to meet in-person. This allows you to easily remove yourself from the conversation if it becomes hurtful or harmful.

3. What kind of support do you need?

You don’t need to have everything figured out before you come out but consider sharing a few ways someone can best support you.

4. Is there anyone who shouldn't know?

Being clear about who you feel comfortable with and who you don’t feel safe or comfortable coming out to can help avoid you being outed by the person you just came out to.

5. What are you comfortable sharing?

You might get asked sensitive and personal questions you’re not comfortable answering. Take some time beforehand to decide what you will and won’t share.

6. Why am I considering coming out?

You should never feel pressured or shamed into coming out before you’re ready. Your queerness and worth are not dependent on being “out” to everyone in your life.

For more information on coming out, check out the Coming Out resource.